For the first time in almost seven years I left the house with one of my walking sticks…it was an incredibly hard decision to make.
My husband and I were headed out to do some shopping this weekend and it was incredibly hot outside. For me this means weakness, fatigue, and dizziness.
I love the heat, but alas, it doesn’t like me.
I don’t have a wheelchair parking pass which means walking farther in heat.
I am having a lot of trouble admitting that I could really use one (especially in the Summer). Admitting you can’t do the things you used to can be very hard. Especially when your disease is relapsing remitting and your last remission was 7 years long.
However, I was going with my husband and could use him as my crutch. This is what I normally do because it makes me feel less disabled. It also means I don’t leave the house without him.
Normally I would have left the walking stick at home.
I still haven’t touched them since my husband brought them back in from the shed, except to move them so I didn’t have to look at them.
I fought internally with myself for ever. It felt like I was giving in…
I decided that due to a medication change and the heat it would be a good idea to bring it.
I use a walking stick instead of a cane because I prefer the posture and weight distribution offered by a walking stick. I also think it makes me look cool…not disabled. I often joke about just getting back from hiking in Tibet when asked about why I use a walking stick.
It’s like I have some fake luxurious life where I spend my days hiking around exotic locals. This makes me happy. I have an incredibly vivid imagination making it much easier to imagine this alter ego in all her glory! She doesn’t need naps…it’s amazing!
Anyway, I spent the rest of the afternoon leaving my husband in my dust…motoring around the store with my walking stick. I also beat him to the front door when we got home. It was a great afternoon!
The moral of this story is…stop fighting the things that make your life easier.
If it helps you just use it. Stop fearing what others will think. Do what you have to do in order to regain or keep your freedom. If this means using a mobility aid, or switching to hand controls for your car. Do it! The only person holding you back is you. Keep as much of your freedom as you can.
I felt amazing when I got home and realized that no matter how weak I was feeling I could leave the house alone as long as I have my walking stick for support.
SO why is it so hard to make these transitions? If helps why do we fight it?
Any advice on how to make this transition easier, or personal experience with a similar situation. I would love your feedback as I am still struggling with this realization. I don’t want to resent the things that can help me get through my day easier.