So, like everyone with MS, I have had to learn to adapt. Constant changes. I was feeling great (minor daily issues) for close to seven years. Then RELAPSE! That dreaded word anyone with a remitting chronic illness can understand.
Suddenly, I’m not great. My daily struggles have turned vengeful. It’s like fighting with your body and brain. The things I could easily do before have become chores.
As someone who doesn’t take disease modifying drugs and tries to steer clear of pharmaceuticals as much as possible, I’ve really had to reassess my views. There still isn’t a disease modifier I believe in enough to suffer the side effects. But how do you deal with the symptoms that crop up during a relapse? So do I suffer through them or do I bite the bullet and see if there is anything that can help make my days a little more bearable?
This relapse includes a nasty case of an MS hug, weakness and fatigue in my upper and lower limbs, intermittent standing leg tremors, a worsening of neurogenic bladder symptoms and as always nerve pain that is either in my jaw (tooth), scalp, lower arms, hands, lower legs, feet, or all of the above. So I caved. I went from taking one pill (for Major Depressive Disorder and OCD) to taking four different medications. I feel like I’m popping pills like candy. I know for someone who needs a lot of medication this won’t seem like much but for me it’s a lot!
The thing is all the medications are working and my pain levels have decreased greatly. But it’s a slippery slope. Where do you stop? I don’t want to be that sick girl! I don’t want to deal with MS! But who does, right?
So for now I will take the medications that are working for me at this point and hope that this relapse will pass and I will be able to stop some of them.
If I could only get myself together enough to resume a healthier lifestyle. Somehow make myself believe again that I deserve to be healthy and treat my body as such, but that’s for another post.